Somewhere around the middle of 2013 my unlikely comedy career was on the upswing. Good gigs were coming. After audiences at the SLO Comedy Festival voted me "Best in Fest" for the third consecutive year, I felt I was finally being taking seriously. Then I got a good gig that required cutting up my sets into segments. This required lots memorization but I was excited.
I hit my first stage and something was just wrong.
I felt like a baseball pitcher who was used to winning but now could not get anyone out, and I didn't know why.
I could not remember what bits came next. I kept forgetting key words. The stuff was not landing and for the first time in years I lost confidence on stage.
Friends who knew my stuff started asking if I was OK; noticing that I looked lost in a couple of spots. I was lost during the whole shows.
I would read a Facebook post, "good to see you Saturday night!"
I had no recollection of the encounter.
I would be in the middle of a show and forget what I was talking about. Some club owners wondered if I was drunk. In addition, I developed a severe deep cough. I was a mess! And I did drink more out of depression.
I was dog paddling to survive.
Before every show I sat in my cabin and went over flash cards of bits. I still struggled.
I got home sat down and began trying to trace what lead to this memory loss.
Diet, the household chemicals I came in contact with... anything that could emerge as a denominator. I went to the Doctor's office to rule out dementia; thank god.
I was asked if I was interested in renewing an old prescription for some A.D.D. meds when it struck me I had not taken them until I knew I need a little extra focus on the ships.
I Googled A.D.H.D., Adderal and memory loss and on the first page, knew right away I was on to something.
Lots of others experienced memory loss as well.
I threw the bottle of meds out and slowly but surely noticed a welcomed difference.
The good news; the work I did to survive surfaced in much stronger shows.
The bad news, I dug holes on a few opportunities. Your first impression is your last. There were other factors I would later discover that worked against me as well.
Those that stuck by me; when you start mentioning names for the sake of thanks, you leave out a couple and; well let's just say; you know who you are.
I'll always have a place for you in my heart.
For those of you who gave up on me; my memory is back and you can bet your ass I won't forget it.